Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Pink chaddi campaign is making me feel queasy and confused

1. Firstly, why are the chaddis PINK? Yes I ask this question even before I ask why 'chaddis'. Those even this much familiar with feminism or common sense, know that pink is not ALWAYS a colour of choice for women, it is IMPOSED on women. When we say pink, we automatically think baby pink. Fluffy, soft, delicate, sweet pink. We do not think of bringh magentas, we always think of pastels. because girls are supposed to be like that. Fluffy, pastel (mild not bright). Have we really NOT noticed that men wearing pink is SUCH a big deal. Depending on how evolved we are, we immidiately term the men 'metrosxuals' or 'faggots'. Don't we not. So PINK is obviously a statement. But is it a right statement?And this is NOT the first time pink has been used btw- in India Why chaddis. Okay the inspiration was taken from a Burmese struggle. here is the reference: If we examine what happened in this struggle and why panties indeed were crucial for protesting is , quoting from this article is this "of Burma's military leaders. Human rights activists say the leaders believe that contact with women's underwear will sap them of their power. Women -- and by extension their clothing -- are considered inferior by powerful men in Burma, say campaign organizers."The women there were protesting about a very specefic superstition along with other issues. But what are we protesting against mainly? Moral policing and violence against women. How do our pink chaddis achieve this? Okay lets bring Valentine's day in this. So we do ADMIT that Valentine's day is all about pinkness and laciness and not so much about freedom to do what I want? And valentine's day is just a woman's pink domain, is it? what about the boyfriends/husbands/partners?You cannot ignore the SHOCK and SEXUAL undertones of this campaign and I wonder if that is what we need to communicate at all and even if so, why with pink chaddis?3. Giving Muthalik so much bhaav. From an ignorable sie kick he has become the Gulshan Grover of the indian rightist wing. Really? Why? 4. The attacks at Amnesia, MAngalore were FIRST and FOREMOST about violence. Why even make it a moral debate? There is NO morality here. THAT IS THE DEBATE THE BUGGERS want to START. This is THEIR AGENDA!!!!! It is not ours. Our agenda is VIOLENCE and UNCHEKED VIOLENCE first. and if a debate does seem so IMPORTANT, if a dialogue with them is so needed, then why answer their 'attention grabbing' tactics with ours? Mutahlk is far away, in Mangalore and so are his men. Have you changed the mindset of your boyfriend/partner/husband/male co worker/domestic help/friend and anyone at all? If we do KNOW that the solution to this is in long term change of minds, then why get into this 5 mins (or if it is India TV then one week) of media glare. Barkha Dutt will surely do a We the People, wearing pink salwaar kameez and gloat. and we can feel happy about this. Make him a hero instead of a petty criminal. It is really is OUR choice.Read this " The journalists in Karnataka had started to ignore him and his 3 page press releases cum 60 minute non-stop nonsense adress 5-6 years back. Muthalik used to make rounds of all newspaper offices and TV channels for a single column news and a 30 second air space. Not more than a dozen journalists (half of them non - working!) would attend his press conferences full of vitriolic attacks on other religions and modern fellow Hindus. and from the same blog post"A young, hep girl in Mumbai's Malabar hill to a high heeled chic in South Delhi .......... American English speaking member of a ' pink cheddi ' brigade on Bangalore's Brigade road to a helloji blonde at Chandigarh's 17 Sector ........... Muthalik is now on every lips.............. "Link to this blog post: Lets not ignore the fact that even if do not admit it ourselves or our friends, this chaddi business has something to do with revulsion (even if no one is sending a USED one!). And that is also a patriarchal agenda, you cannot wish it away. I am NOT talking of 5 of you, you are so eveolved but the rest of us? So chaddi is NOT an intimate clothing any more is it? If it isn't how many of us send pink or any colour panties to our partners without feeling like OH MY GOD THIS IS A SCARY/BIG/KINKY/FUNNY BUT BIG thing? Why was Dev Paro exchange of nude pic such a big deal in this story. by big deal i don't mean how many news channels got hysterical about it (THANK GOD) but a big deal in the narration of the story. and Paro and Dev were sexually inclined towards each other!!!!So if its such a big deal, then before sending one, lets think what this pink chaddi means to me and what it means to send it to a criminal in I mention in the title of this Note, I am confused and I feel queasy, I am not saying this is WRONG. At least this is a step. and a big step. and one that will not be so easily ignored but still....

Friday, January 23, 2009

A long comment that actually desrves to be a post

Okay so i found this really sweet(ha ha ), charming(roll eyes) and iformative(eyes can't roll back further) blog post.
i commented on it but it might just be deleted.
so i am pasting it here.

Please please please do not call yourself a feminist.

okay please please please maybe i was being too harsh, at least ADMIT that you are ONLY feminist when it suits you, nothing wrong with that now.

sometimes we ALL cop out.

Please please please i hope you realise that whatever your age is....i am assuming ONLY it is more than 12, writing a blog post which has this super cutesy tone to it by you adding a trillion please(s)and therefore makes you sound like 12. oh wait men like all women to be cute and protectable (shit there is no word like that but you got the point)

please please please let me come to the ISSUES you have raised you are not a damsel in distress. know sound like you'd MIND being a damsel in distress. but why would you? you LIKE old fashioned things. they have lovely, charming quality to them and so does this damsel image. so why the resistance?

2.unless the woman stays in a relatively unsafe place or it is after 9 pm, does this make ANY sense. oooopps for our information you have already declared yourself a feminist so surely you know better. men are ALWAYS the security, guards, chauffers, come on, have i ever seen a woman doing these jobs. that makes a LOT of sense. in case you are from North India, especially Delhi and Punjab, dude, just DROP DEAD. coz you are used to hearing TU at home, and that is like SOOOOO UNMANLY. only men from Bihar who are MORE likely to use TUM, need apply for this post of being a REAL MAN. Hmmm.....Interesting. Not ONLY sexist, we also have linguist and regional biases. but we ARE feminists.

4.Please please please. what if she REALISES despite your best manly efforts that she is an adult who ACTUALLY knows how to walk on street. shit that would be devastating to her gentle lady heart. NEVER let her find that out. let her always believe she can NOT walk on the road also without your comforting presence. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE women HATE feeling like capable adults. I mean that is SOOOOOOOOO UNFEMININE.

5.Now this is interesting. i always took the lady seats in Delhi. doesn't that go against my feminist spirit. so why did i do that. coz Delhi is a JUNGLE. men there are taught things that these post suggests. to be a man you protect and what you protect you posess and what you posses you can molest. get the logic. and HUH HUH HUH shouldn't any ADULT, man OR woman get up for a pregnant lady. REALLY REALLY, the men you hang around with need a crash course in THIS ? THIS? God, this is surreal!!!!!

6.even that thoughtful gesture happy? how do i (the blogger) know this,coz like I KNOW ALL WOMEN AND ALL MEN. Like I can speak FOR ALL OF THEM. AND ALL OF THEM ARE INCAPABLE adults LIKE ME!!!! Come on being treated like an adult is so UNWOMANLY!!!!!!! Dating etiquette of 19th century is so cute. so charming. so lovely. so was sati pratha. hey THAT really made a woman feel like a woman and you know she even DRESSSED in all her finery and felt even MORE like a woman. and you know like all men watching that woman burning also felt so chivalreous and all.come on I also like quaint charming things. can we PLEASE take your computer away from you, In west bengal it was believed that if a girl got educated, she would either go blind or her husband will die....

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE after you have finished sniffing in a handkerchief provided by a gentleman friend (i knew you were missing a vital act of chivalry) you will hit delete on my comment. so i think i will post this reply on my blog with a track back to your rather enlightening blog post.

Mwah. is this what good ladies do? I don't know. I usually use cheers. but maybe that is what gentlemen what do i know. I am not a feminist, for anyone's information. I just live by those thought, don't INFORM people.

p.s yes i do sound like very nasty to that poor little girl. but give me ONE good reason why that blog post shouldn't have made my blood boil.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A new beginning and TAG TAG TAG

Well i had abandoned this blog many many months back. and i had been blogging at and abandoned that as well and started yes i have commitment phobia.
yes there is a chance that i am single because i am scared that i might want to do this with partners as well and that is not usually allowed.
yes i am not sure whether the last line was serious or funny or a tragicomic mix of both.
yes i am rambling because this is my space.

i discovered this blog
which is as the name suggests is about tags. and i am a TAG junkie. i like talking about myself. i live in a delusional world where i believe people like knowing about me. so ...this seemed like a very very nice idea.

Okay the tag is about films.
I should and I can talk about two films that I watched and LOVED called Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and Ghajini. But I choose to talk about a film that I watched on DVD a week back called The Holiday. and to be truthful i didn't even like the film. okay i liked Cameron D (who was not as good as in many other films) and i liked Kate W. Didn't care about Jude Law and Jack Black. Wait, I did think an ex love-interest suffers from Jude Law's hang over (Love interest is an actor too!!!) and that made me queasy but other than that the two boys did nothing for me. Now firang men rarely do but that is still besides the point.
I thought the film was so so mild and was trying SO hard to be cute, romantic and meaningful that it bored me. it was quite dharmesh darshan in english.
but still it made a mark on me.
for a personal reason.
two years back when i was STILL madly in love/infatuation/adoration/lust with some man, a friend had asked me to watch the film telling me that I should watch Kate's character and think of her journey. I did NOT like this idea one bit and so I didn't watch the film.
Now when i watched the film I was with my sister and bro in law and therefore couldn't ooohhh aaahhhh on the similarities or rather weep over them.
So I watched it quietly.
But bad as it was, I realised that Kate was me (what was her screen name? wait, Iris). So Iris was where I have been. And though not very witty or dramatic or whatever, the trick that Abbot, her writer friend employs to make her realise how wonderful she really is and instead of allowing Jasper to treat her like a puppy, she should SO kick him out, was very very cute and effective.
Too bad I am already OVER my Jasper but the film would have come in handy.
I wouldn't really really recommend the film UNLESS you are in a situation of unrequited love.
well the other love track between Jude Law and Cameron Diaz was too convinient and therfore did nothing for me.

Okay so here is where you check this blog.

p.s watch out for more posts, I am back I think

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Khush raho ahal e watan , hum to safar karte hain

I am shifting....ummm....actually I have shifted to
see you there
of course like Ghalib i also know the 'haqeekat' of 'jannat' but i like to believe that there is a long list of people who flock to this blog regularly and were missing my posts...

Friday, July 07, 2006

bachpan ki yaadein

look at what i found...
enjoy the nostalgia

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Book tag

The first book I remember reading: A fat and huge and red coloured dictionary meant for kids…It had LOVELY illustrations , I was three and the only thing I READ was the picture of a cute worm that was sticking out his head in A for APPLE….

The book that my parents asked me NOT to read and I read: They had a problem with my reading Hindi trash like Gulshan Nanda etc…and now papa helped me buy the same trash for some ‘official’ work that I had.
Also mummy categorically asked me to stay away from Kumarsambhavam, a play by Kalidas…not that I cared about his writings but because she asked me not to, I had too…the reason…it is about the relationship of Shiva and Parvati…the ideal husband and wife couple according to the Hindu Mythology and the 8th chapter in the play descibes their love making…with the sounds and the love bites…I was about 14 then…and it felt good to see that Indians especially gods also made love.

Book I associate most with love, for whatever reason:
The answer should be any Gulzar books as I look for all my love dilemmas in his books but lets be honest
Kasap by Manohar Shyam Joshi- read it when I was falling in love, at the peak of love, when I was falling out of love and after my break up. Read it like a bible in those three years about 9 times. And each time I looked at it differently.the book is still my bible.
Chitra by Rabindranath Tagore- read it first when I was 12 and even at that time I remember being so moved I cried. And still can’t bear to read it. it is indeed a little non feministic I think but I don’t care.

Book that should have never finished: any book by Shivani and Suvarnalata by Ashapurna Devi. ( This is link to a story by her)

Book I am so embarrassed about liking: Most of Sidney Sheldon books….okay so kill me for intellectual corruption…
and also added with a… gulp … both the volumes of Bridget Jones Diary.

Book I am so embarrassed about not liking: None actually but I failed to see what was so cult-ish about Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger …okay sue me…I am ready, or disown me…yes especially the golgappa and the fried fish…see if I care…

One day I will pucca read: Atlas Shrugged and Fountain Head by Ayn Rand…pucca promise.

The most erotic book I have read: changing answer slyly, Mitro Marjaani by Krishna Sobti, here is a link to my other blog where i spoke about the book

I could't sleep for nights after reading: Dastavez, Volume one by Manto. For the uninitiated, he wrote extensively about brothels and riots, 1947 riots that is . Do read Khol Do and Kali Salwar.
Also Weekend by Nirmal Verma, disturbing is the mildest word that you can use for his writings.

I can never finish reading, though have tried many times: The Fountain Head by Ayn Rand…kill me, I am a kaafir

I bought recently:
The first three parts of St. Clares, by Enid Blyton

My wish list (3 books allowed):
Selected poems of Sylvia Plath.
The Sandman: Book of Dreams by Neil Gaimon (currently reading it bit by bit at Landmark, every alternate day…it is expensive…okay?)
Tarkash by Javed Akhtar

and and and chaatpaapdi, rambler, aparajita and easelworks are tagged.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Gulzar saab ke saath bada hona...

I remember once when i was 13-14 and my mother and elder sister were watching Ijazat and oooohing and aaahing about something.
and then that song came ...'Katra katra milta hai...katra katra jeene do"
i had thought how dumb who would want to live drop by drop...Not me for sure...i want it ALL and AT ONCE...
when i told my mother this she gave me that smile that day you will grow up...
and worse was my sister (who i secretly thought was a silli oaf most times) also claimed to understand the song and next day she and her friends were discussing the song when i expressed my opinion and they got all patronising...
Did i get mad or what??? i took a vow to understand that and more one day...
i always liked the peppier ' chhoti si kahani si barishon ke paani se'
till recently when i was reading his book and it struck me for the millionth time that this man KNOWS exactly how i am how and how does he know?
and i do understand the above mentioned song better but it hurts to grow up and understand it...

Similiar sentiments have been shared in another sher of his which is even more beautiful and more painful...

" Tumhaare gham ki dali utha kar zaabaan par rakh li hai maine...woh katra katra pighal rahi hai main katra katra hi jee raha hoon"

aaahhh the sweet pain...don't ever go away...