Thursday, February 16, 2006

A young girl's death and many questions


i left out suicide in the heading ...does it make it any less titilliating...
this is about kuljeet's suicide
and before i continue i will admit and confess that i am guilty of all that i write here too...

i have also been indifferent and dismissive and have told myself and others many times that it is not worth making an issue of ...
like for example how media trivilaises each and every issue!! And have i ever raised this issue before in my mind forget into a discussion, a letter to editor or even in my blog. Have i really cared so much before it touched my heart and created a disturbance in my mind space?

Mid Day and scores of other papers have covered and thankfully in not as much detail as nafeesa joseph's death but have anyway gotten as much mileage that they could have got from this.

1. first they want to know why the boyfriend is absconding ,was he a bastard, did he say horrible things to her, why wasn't he at the funeral? we want answers to all of that so that we can quickly (instant noodles and instant emotions which means hunger over humane duty also over...that's us!!) sympathise with the poor girl and call the boyfriend a bastard and then get on with our lives ... and he is a bastard and we are not???
i am not advocating a morbid fascination and obession with death and suicide but.. But why don't we don't want to know (whether we are men or women and at whatever age) what made that poor girl a poor girl...not just one fight with boyfriend at the age of 29 has killed her...the causes must have been in her life forever...and what makes that boy a bastard...we do!!! we teach the boys to be insensitive as sons, friends, boyfriends and super heroes (saif in salaam namaste is cute and poor thing though nothing expalins his stupidity at the age of 30 when he can't understand that a woman has more needs than a chocolate ice cream) ...oh and i must underline the fact again and again that this post is not about Kuljeet and her boyfriend...i don't want to know the specifics and i don't want to blame her or him and i don't think the incident is exciting at all....
coming back to a relationship gone awry who tells a girl that a nice man will solve all her pain and loneliness away we do!!!!
and are we assuming that she is getting into a relatiosnhip with a shrink who doesn't have any problems of his own? and what is that pain and loneliness that she is not taught to resolve on her own? is valentines day actually just another day for fun and frolic..what about the pressure it puts on the single people...are the hindi films just mindless timepass? don't they become a part of our dreams and desires and life even after we walk out of the hall?

2. The wave of sympathy that is flowing in the city till another thing that is making me puke ...poor single women alone in the city so sad so bad...how about something more constructive than pity for once...

3. media frenzy: papers have gone ahaed and published the pictures of the building that she used to stay in...red circling the very house...why? why? why? did she kill herself because the architecture of the house was faulty? haven't we made it difficult now to rent the house out becasue a whole lot of us are not comfy sharing our life with an unhappy soul...well to those losers...her soul is not really enthusiaistic about sharing that space with morons like you, so there!!!
and at a macro level as it is sooo difficult to get a rented flat in the city if you are single person...well if you are a guy you are just irresposnible and destructive at the worst but god forbid if you are a girl then you are totally looney and a slut...otherwise you would have been married by now!!!! haven't we again put that fear back again the minds of those idiotic landlords? thanks very much!!!! and those who think that i am hyperventllating please read this
also those who want some mouthwatering gossip on looney single women-respectably married women commit more suicides than single women...does that say anything about the magical security men provide women...


they also have interviewed some random co actor of hers and published a story (half page) who didn't like her much and didn't interact with her much and therefore did not attend the funeral- so are we not allowed to dislike people? and are we to assume that this man is a bastard too? would it matter to her soul if he didn't but we HAVE to know all of that and more with our marie biscuits and chai...very very important...



i will write more...i sure haven't finished....

2 Comments:

Blogger sudo phish said...

full of angst - this post! I liked it. But who is to blame really? I keep blaming the media but I am not so sure anymore. If we didn; lap all this up wd they show it?
How come my freinds, even if they know nothing about Abu Ghraib. seem to know EVERYTHING about what was written on her suicide note??

Why do so many ppl buy TOI and delhi times and so few Hindu??

9:15 AM

 
Anonymous dolly said...

THANKS for that!!! There's lots of the single-women-sitting-on-the-shelf and 'Why aren't you married YET???' stuff happening among and BY Indian grad students in my university too. This is a nice repartee to all those who think women have nothing better to do in life than get married, and/or are not quite whole until they do.

8:42 PM

 

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